Pierre du Plessis

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Saying I forgive you (and Worcestershire sauce)

The 3 hardest things to say are:

I'm sorry,
I forgive you,
and Worcestershire sauce.

;)

Yesterday I wrote about the importance of saying sorry, that it makes it easier for the other person to start to heal if you admit your guilt. It makes it easier for them to reply with,

'I forgive you'.

Forgiveness is necessary, whether someone apologises or not, the latter being much harder of course. Anne Lamotte wrote that not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and hoping the other person dies. Not forgiving is holding onto your right to be right, it's holding onto some sort of power over the other. 

Let's just get one thing straight, forgiveness is NOT condoning the other person's actions.

Forgiveness is letting go.
Forgiveness is giving up your right to be right.
Forgiveness is refusing to let the past define who you are.

It can take years to forgive, to let go, it certainly has for me. It started out with as a purely mental exercise. I said it but didn't mean it. Then after thousands of times of saying it, I slowly started to mean it until one day there was no more need to even say it, when I realised I haven't even thought of those people in weeks or months.

The forgiveness did its work.

Get skin in the game, forgive.

(and practice saying Worcestershire sauce.. it also takes thousands of times.. ;) )

Pierre